SILENT MURMURS OF A MOTHER’S HEART – on MOTHER’s DAY

You live in my HEART.

Home is where my love is. Home is where my main man is. And HOME is where my heart is. Because home is where JARED DYLAN PHILIPPE DADUFALZA-CAMARILLO is.

September 20, 2010 – the day you were born. Until then, did I ever fully comprehend and understand the greatest and simplest joys of MOTHERHOOD. I have suddenly forgotten everything I read in the books. For nine months that I carried you in my womb, with so much awe and anticipation I kept reading books after books to educate myself on the things that I need to know when you arrive, simply to keep me informed. But when I had you in my arms, when you succumbed into my chest and slept through the beatings of my heartbeat, and as I enveloped you in my loving embrace, I just went by my instinct. That’s when we started our love affair, my love.

My beautiful boy, never did I imagine that having you in my life would change me one bit. You just did. You brought so much life into my world, you gave meaning into my very existence, and you have given me so much joy to fulfill my purpose in this lifetime. You are my blessing, my gift, and my answered prayer.  I became the person I never thought I could be. The warmth of your presence brings out the best in me. I hope I will live up to your expectations and be the MOM you deserve. I hope one day, I will hear you say, “You’re the best Mom in the world.”

The day you were born is the day I was born, too. The new ME came alive.

My heart whispers the joy of our tomorrows, with hope to fulfill your every dream. Together, we will travel the road towards our future.  I will do my best to bring you to the world, if not give you the whole world. Your dreams will be mine to keep. Your heart’s desire will be mine to heed. This, I promise you, my son.

And so on Mother’s Day, I was home.

Mother’s Day is made perfect by the presence of my beautiful boy as yummy as this chocolate cake.

The sun. The sea. The morning breeze. So surreal. So peaceful. Oh, how I love thee. This is a treat – a luxury I can afford as my weekend indulgence, away from the bustling noise of the city. I took a break from the fast lane and spent a more laid back weekend getaway – to be where my heart is.

May 12, 2012 – Saturday. The summer heat is getting unbearable but nothing beats the joy of being with family, it creates more warmth into this day. Moreover, nothing beats the joy of spending quality time with my main man – the only man I will ever love, and most probably the only man who will love me unconditionally, who will never ever hurt MOM, the one who lives in my HEART – my Jared. I claim it, son, because you are mine forever. Thank you for being a pocketful of sunshine in my life.

Heaven can be found in the most unlikely corners ~ Mitch Albom.

Yes, indeed…..

In this sweet summer afternoon, enjoying  the serenity of country living, comfortably lying in the hammock as you keep your head in my chest and feel my heartbeat, together we took our afternoon nap. The day went by with so much peace in my heart. Indeed, a joyful treat.

Taking a shower together is a rare treat that made our day exceptionally perfect – splashing water and creating bubbles, a total giveaway to our weekend indulgence. What a happy day it was. In between, you would innocently kiss me on the lips, and then you would start giggling and clapping while playing with water. Wishful thinking, it’s our daily ritual. Maybe soon, just maybe, but still hopeful.

You would innocently bring laughter into the dining table as you play us your cute little antics and get away with it, making us glued to you in such manner where we would ask you to do things for us as if you understand. Little things you do are my greatest joy – the way you play with your glass of water, stirring and drinking, then giggling. The way you hide your mouth when you don’t want to eat, you would constantly run away, hide your face in the sofa, lie on your stomach face down. You are just the cutest, my little darling. These memories of your growing up years, I will always treasure.

Before we go to bed, you’d look for my bag and check on my wallet, play with my cards and ID’s and count and fold paper bills, then you giggle at random. What a joy to see you innocently giggle like that. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. When you’re tired, you rest your head in my chest, we listen to The Beatles, until we doze off to sleep. We sleep together, at peace with our longings, with a hopeful heart.

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out ’til quarter to three, would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty-four?

And my heart silently whispers, “Son, will you take care of me when I get older? When I am 64?”

May 13, 2012 – Sunday, it’s Mother’s Day. I was dreaming. Sweet kisses on my face, a pinch on my nose, a pat on my right arm. I opened my eyes. And there you are my little angel, sitting in front of me, smiling from ear to ear. Oh what a gorgeous day it was – the best gift ever, to remind me the joys of motherhood, of how blessed I am to have you in my life. Your smile, your laughter, your sweet kisses, melts my heart. My life is complete, I profoundly sigh.

Cuuuuttttteeee…you came running to me and hand me this – PIATTOS! I asked, “is this your gift for me?” and you just kiss me on the lips then you went away. I am just the happiest, my love.

At this point in my life, I’ve come to appreciate the little things, with these I chose to have a happy heart. Because your presence is more than enough to keep me going and fight the battles of our daily lives, equating to a near picture-perfect kind of life we never thought we could have. It is one thing we can create. Something we can live with. Something we can call ours.

The sweetest kiss there is – the kiss of my main man.

Being a single mom is never easy, more so a single “working” mom that I am. It is a daily battle, a daily struggle, to equate sacrifices with gratitude. My heart forgets the tears, the pain, the sorrows, because you are my pocketful of sunshine. You are, after all, my greatest GIFT this life could ever reward me with.

Thank you JARED for being my son. Because you are the reason why I keep moving positively forward, and the only thing my heart could ever comprehend – the only reason I am a MOTHER.

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One thought on “SILENT MURMURS OF A MOTHER’S HEART – on MOTHER’s DAY

  1. Pingback: Sunshine On Leith « My Pathetic Attempts At Love

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