He is the most hurt when I fall. He is the one who cries when I fail. He is the one who lends a hand when I need it the most. He is, my father.
His sensitivity could sometimes drive us to the edge, but his warmth would hold everything into place. He is so conservative and strict, his ways too unconventional and out of context, yet he is one man who keeps his values intact. As a kid, I follow his orders out of fear. I grew up feeling distant and aloof because of his disciplinary measures.
He taught us how to be frugal and thrifty. If we want something, we have to save up for it from our allowance. I was raised by my mom as a bookworm, and when I want to buy a new book, I have to skip lunch or snack to save some cash so I could buy books of my favourite author every week. In middle school, when I have exams, I will study until 12 midnight, get on my blanket and flashlight and read a few chapters from Sidney Sheldon or John Grisham until 3am, and he would come to confiscate that book away and order me to go to sleep. During weekends, I will refuse to do my chores because I am engrossed with my reading. And I could still vividly remember that time when he took my books and set it on fire. I was crying like crazy, wailing like a child, I was heartbroken. My books were my life. My books were my only happiness. If other teens are out there chasing boys, I was saving every penny to buy a new book. I dream for my library.
When I chose a different path, when I went against his will, still he held me in his embrace. When I took a left turn at 17, still he kept his faith on me. When I loved the wrong person, still he held me close. When I was heartbroken and weeping in sorrow, it wasn’t gravity that was holding me on the ground, it was him – my PAPA.
When my son is in need of a dad, it was him who was there to fullfil that space. When we were in need, it was him on the rescue. When I feel like breaking down, he is still there to keep me together. To heed my broken dreams. To heal my broken soul. To build my broken spirit.
And up to this day, of all the men who have promised to love me only my FATHER never failed to fulfill it.
Happy Father’s Day Papa. You are my pillar of strength. I love you…for a lifetime.