June: Birthday Month – Reflection of a Year that Was

2011 – year that was….

It was a crazy ride but I surpassed every turn, every crossroad, and every bump on the road. A year’s journey was worth the fight, and worth the wait. For here I am – carefree, vibrant, and full of life. I can only breathe a profound sigh of relief now.

Self-esteem is shattered by several negative experiences and life events that can lead to a more complex mental disorder. Poor self-esteem can be associated with long-term and traumatic experiences in life that one was not able to come to terms with. It is a constant battle with one’s own mental state. Whatever I went through is a time I never wish to go back to.

I became hostile with my environment, with the people around me, I see nothing good in everything that I do. I am easily discouraged, I see things differently. Or rather, I just simply refuse to see the positive side of everything. I anticipate the worst. I was a pessimist. I was stubborn. Suddenly, I found myself in a downward spiral.

Certain realizations came into perspective.  To boost my confidence and self-esteem and break out this vicious circle, here was my journey…bitter-sweet, it was. ♥

  • I started to think positively about myself. I reminded myself of what I deserve and where I should be headed. I took clutters off my chest.
  • I started to build my confidence by wearing what makes me feel good about myself. Insecurities off from my closet.
  • Coco Chanel once said, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” And one must suffer to be beautiful. New year was new look, new perspective, new ME – better, bolder, and braver. So I say, I am a woman of strength.
  • Going for a brisk walk or a jog regularly, breaking into sweat, and doing some vigorous exercise totally changed my whole perspective. I suddenly have a better understanding of how my body works and how to take care of it. This activity sets my daily grind.
  • I spend more time with the people I hold near and dear. To enlarge my social circle, I went out to meet people. Fearless, I am.
So now, I am the person that I have lost. I have you back, I tell myself. It is liberating as I reflect to the year that was – the defining moments of my life that may have seem fatal for a while have made this journey worthwhile. So on my birthday month, I plan to continue what I have started – to move positively forward. FEARLESS.

 

And I wanna be like the wild horses.

 all I want is the wind in my hair, to face the fear and not feel scared…

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My Jogger’s Playlist – How it Boosts my Sprint and my Spirit

Music sets your mood in every situation that you engage yourself into, it trains your mind and body to perform its optimum mindset, more like a mood booster at its highest form. In most cases, music is known to relieve stress, anxiety, and even insomnia, as it increases balance, focus, alertness, and memory. As it sets your mood, music equates happiness.

When I run, I go for a slower pace for a few minutes. As I go along, that’s when I gradually increase my pace and sprint. So I organize my playlist to cover my 5k run for a maximum of an hour on an ordinary day. I choose songs that I can relate to and at the same time could make my mood to run faster, that would make me feel the need to run more. Organizing my playlist is a therapy in itself. Because the more we like a piece of music, the greater its potential effect on our mind and body. The thing about organizing or having your own customize playlist is a skill.

My playlist is composed of the music of Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Craig David, Mario, Joe, Edwin McCain, Usher, Train, Daughtry, Vertical Horizon, Coldplay, Matchbox Twenty.

My Top 5 songs: what makes me increase energy and focus in my runs. Running is like taking a roadtrip. ♥

1. 93 Million Miles – Jason Mraz

2. The Remedy – Jason Mraz

3. No Such Thing – John Mayer

4. Jet Lag – Simple Plan feat. Natasha Bedingfield

5. Skippin’ – Mario

In picking my songs, I always consider the emotional connection, songs that send me the right emotional message to power my run. I like those that spark emotional, feel-good memories from my childhood that brings in the kick to my mental and emotional state as it fuels my usual pace. The positive effects of the songs usually let my mind play with a mental movie of those memories as I jog.

Some runners would consider BPM (beats per music) when organizing their playlist, they go for 135 – 160 BPM for jogs. I don’t usually count the BPM but rather I choose the song that will enable me to sustain my grip to keep going and surge forward. I just organize them to stream up to my desired running speed at some point. I just figure out where and when do I want to pump up my run, from slower speed to a faster speed, then steady songs to cool down and relax a bit.

In the end, I just go with the songs that will relax and stir a bit of inspiration as I move along.

Imagine your mind uncluttered, happy, and free. It happens when I jog. ♥

SUMMER OF 2012 – Life in the Countryside

A mother would do everything and anything for her child. It is her heart’s desire to make sure her child will get the best care in the world. If her child cries, she’d automatically be on the rescue, to pacify and to comfort, to ease the pain, because a Mother’s caress and loving embrace will make things better.

Life in the countryside is an experience that every child must have; a kind of life that will teach him how to appreciate the simple things and how to celebrate the simplest joys. It is where he will learn the basics of survival. It is where he will see the beauty of nature. It is where he will find the treasures of his youth. Because once he knew where he came from, he will appreciate his surroundings even more when he spreads his wings and fly high. When he explores the world, he will always remember his Home.

Since rarely do we get the chance to be together, Jared and I find ways to maximize our time together.

Son,

Together we bathe.
Then together we eat.
So together we sleep.
Contentment we behold,
Just as we wake up beside each other.

Love,
Mom


A childhood well lived is a life well spent. It is an experience that I want Jared to have, for him to understand how to live simply, learning to be happy with what he has. To feel contentment in every aspect of his life, to enrich his soul, for this will eventually complete his well being. Childhood experiences will make him the person that he will become. And I’d like him to experience the dirty stuff – to play in the sun, get dirty, and fall. In these experiences, he will learn how to stand up, and courageously fight to win, and in every loss will he learn camaraderie and sportsmanship. A child will learn better from first-hand experiences. Jared’s energy is contagious; it drives everyone crazy. He runs. He falls. He stands up. He laughs. He cries.

His curiosity is amazing. He will try everything that he sees – he learned how to twist the lid of a bottle, he figured out how to use the spoon, he found out how to comb his hair, he knew where to put his feeding bottle once he’s finished – and a few more he figured out on his own.

Jared is most happy when surrounded with people. Just like me, he simply loves the crowd.

…you are mom’s every joy.

To beat the summer heat, we called all the children from the neighborhood and spend a wet afternoon. The water was so cold, more like spring water. At the start, Jared was crying, scared to be alone inside the pool with the rest of the kids. So I had no choice but to get in and get wet as well. Certain things a mother would do when her child is scared and in tears. Just as when I had to memorize all the songs from Barney’s and Sesame Street because these are what Jared wants to watch.

These activities will lead my child into a more educated thinking, more cognitive way of adapting to his environment. And the activities we do together, no matter how small and how rare they are, still would keep balance into his growth, especially that Jared has the most unconventional family set up around him.

SILENT MURMURS OF A MOTHER’S HEART – on MOTHER’s DAY

You live in my HEART.

Home is where my love is. Home is where my main man is. And HOME is where my heart is. Because home is where JARED DYLAN PHILIPPE DADUFALZA-CAMARILLO is.

September 20, 2010 – the day you were born. Until then, did I ever fully comprehend and understand the greatest and simplest joys of MOTHERHOOD. I have suddenly forgotten everything I read in the books. For nine months that I carried you in my womb, with so much awe and anticipation I kept reading books after books to educate myself on the things that I need to know when you arrive, simply to keep me informed. But when I had you in my arms, when you succumbed into my chest and slept through the beatings of my heartbeat, and as I enveloped you in my loving embrace, I just went by my instinct. That’s when we started our love affair, my love.

My beautiful boy, never did I imagine that having you in my life would change me one bit. You just did. You brought so much life into my world, you gave meaning into my very existence, and you have given me so much joy to fulfill my purpose in this lifetime. You are my blessing, my gift, and my answered prayer.  I became the person I never thought I could be. The warmth of your presence brings out the best in me. I hope I will live up to your expectations and be the MOM you deserve. I hope one day, I will hear you say, “You’re the best Mom in the world.”

The day you were born is the day I was born, too. The new ME came alive.

My heart whispers the joy of our tomorrows, with hope to fulfill your every dream. Together, we will travel the road towards our future.  I will do my best to bring you to the world, if not give you the whole world. Your dreams will be mine to keep. Your heart’s desire will be mine to heed. This, I promise you, my son.

And so on Mother’s Day, I was home.

Mother’s Day is made perfect by the presence of my beautiful boy as yummy as this chocolate cake.

The sun. The sea. The morning breeze. So surreal. So peaceful. Oh, how I love thee. This is a treat – a luxury I can afford as my weekend indulgence, away from the bustling noise of the city. I took a break from the fast lane and spent a more laid back weekend getaway – to be where my heart is.

May 12, 2012 – Saturday. The summer heat is getting unbearable but nothing beats the joy of being with family, it creates more warmth into this day. Moreover, nothing beats the joy of spending quality time with my main man – the only man I will ever love, and most probably the only man who will love me unconditionally, who will never ever hurt MOM, the one who lives in my HEART – my Jared. I claim it, son, because you are mine forever. Thank you for being a pocketful of sunshine in my life.

Heaven can be found in the most unlikely corners ~ Mitch Albom.

Yes, indeed…..

In this sweet summer afternoon, enjoying  the serenity of country living, comfortably lying in the hammock as you keep your head in my chest and feel my heartbeat, together we took our afternoon nap. The day went by with so much peace in my heart. Indeed, a joyful treat.

Taking a shower together is a rare treat that made our day exceptionally perfect – splashing water and creating bubbles, a total giveaway to our weekend indulgence. What a happy day it was. In between, you would innocently kiss me on the lips, and then you would start giggling and clapping while playing with water. Wishful thinking, it’s our daily ritual. Maybe soon, just maybe, but still hopeful.

You would innocently bring laughter into the dining table as you play us your cute little antics and get away with it, making us glued to you in such manner where we would ask you to do things for us as if you understand. Little things you do are my greatest joy – the way you play with your glass of water, stirring and drinking, then giggling. The way you hide your mouth when you don’t want to eat, you would constantly run away, hide your face in the sofa, lie on your stomach face down. You are just the cutest, my little darling. These memories of your growing up years, I will always treasure.

Before we go to bed, you’d look for my bag and check on my wallet, play with my cards and ID’s and count and fold paper bills, then you giggle at random. What a joy to see you innocently giggle like that. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. When you’re tired, you rest your head in my chest, we listen to The Beatles, until we doze off to sleep. We sleep together, at peace with our longings, with a hopeful heart.

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out ’til quarter to three, would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty-four?

And my heart silently whispers, “Son, will you take care of me when I get older? When I am 64?”

May 13, 2012 – Sunday, it’s Mother’s Day. I was dreaming. Sweet kisses on my face, a pinch on my nose, a pat on my right arm. I opened my eyes. And there you are my little angel, sitting in front of me, smiling from ear to ear. Oh what a gorgeous day it was – the best gift ever, to remind me the joys of motherhood, of how blessed I am to have you in my life. Your smile, your laughter, your sweet kisses, melts my heart. My life is complete, I profoundly sigh.

Cuuuuttttteeee…you came running to me and hand me this – PIATTOS! I asked, “is this your gift for me?” and you just kiss me on the lips then you went away. I am just the happiest, my love.

At this point in my life, I’ve come to appreciate the little things, with these I chose to have a happy heart. Because your presence is more than enough to keep me going and fight the battles of our daily lives, equating to a near picture-perfect kind of life we never thought we could have. It is one thing we can create. Something we can live with. Something we can call ours.

The sweetest kiss there is – the kiss of my main man.

Being a single mom is never easy, more so a single “working” mom that I am. It is a daily battle, a daily struggle, to equate sacrifices with gratitude. My heart forgets the tears, the pain, the sorrows, because you are my pocketful of sunshine. You are, after all, my greatest GIFT this life could ever reward me with.

Thank you JARED for being my son. Because you are the reason why I keep moving positively forward, and the only thing my heart could ever comprehend – the only reason I am a MOTHER.

MY JOURNEY TO NOW…

I cry. I break down.

I read. I write. I pray. I run. I escape.

I breathe. I dream. I smile. I laugh. I live.

Life is a rush. Life is full of discoveries. Indeed, an adventure.

Yes, it was therapeutic. My healing process is. I felt the rush.

This is my now. This is me now. I picked pixie dust, kissed my morning dew, danced in the rain, and chased my rainbows.

Time heals. Indeed, I must admit.

Hurt.
Broken.
Confused.

I wept in sorrow.
I drifted apart.
I broke down.

I was lost.
I was numb.
I was in denial.
I was a total mess.

The pain was unbearable. My spirit was shattered. And today, I can proudly say, I was strong enough to surpass it all. I was strong enough to get back up and start again. I was kissing the ground, yet, I managed to stand up. This time, I took the wheel.

And this was my JOYRIDE

I READ….

Reading, in silence and in my own solitude, is a form of therapy. Books are my sweetest escape. I read and re-read Paulo Coelho.

Never give up. When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs – but move on. ~ Paulo Coelho.



VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE.

“She had always spent her life waiting for something.”

“Veronika assumed an ironic air, smiled, turned and moved off so that no one would notice that her eyes were filling with tears.”

“What once seemed to her as a paradise, gradually turned out into hell.”

 THE ZAHIR

“No one should ever ask themselves that: why am I unhappy? The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy.”

“..there is nothing worse than the feeling that no one cares whether we exist or not, that no one is interested in what we have to say about life, and that the world can continue turning without our awkward presence.”

 I WRITE….. 

Writing is a form of therapy. The freedom to write the rushes of thoughts gives me a different kind of joy. The kind of happiness writing has given me eradicate my sorrows, and as I scribble what I feel inside, as I let my emotions out. I speak the truth. Simply put, emotions do not lie. I scribble the silent murmurs of my heart.

Random thoughts. Random emotional outbursts. And at random, I just write. Hours of writing is my sweet escape.

  I RUN…..

Then I discovered the joy of running. Joining my first ever fun run has made me appreciate the rush of adventure. THE MILLENNIUM RUN FOR WOMEN’S HEALTH, 6th of November 2011.

I was excited. I was sick for weeks before the event. I had to rush myself to the ER a week before. Still, I get on my feet, went to my regular morning jog with friends. While everyone jogs, I walked. I took on my ipod, played my running playlist, walked my way through Upper McKinley Hill in Taguig. I ran. I walked. I was happy. The physical pain went unnoticed. I was just happy.

Woke up with raindrop’s patter on my rooftop. For a while, I was saddened thinking I won’t be able to run that day.

Finish line is a happy place.

I did it. I survived it. I was happy.

I met peace. Finally, I did.

I didn’t run to win. I just feel the joy of running. It was then that I had the time to have a peaceful conversation with my inner thoughts. It was then that I made a lot of realizations. In running, you do not run to escape, rather you run to move forward. And in my sweet escape, I run to meditate. I run to heal. I run to feel better.

I ESCAPE….

I escape to a world of discoveries. I embraced life as it comes. Friends showed me what a beautiful world there is. I just needed to go out there to witness it, to live it. And there was I, starting to live the world I have forgotten. There was I, seeing the world I haven’t seen.

I discovered the world I live in.

I dream. I smile. I laugh. I live.

Indeed, I survived it all.

A.N.N.E.

Sunday Guilty Pleasures

Indeed. Sunday is my time to catch up with my reading pleasures. Don’t we just all love Sundays? I bet most of you do.

A hot and humid day, I sat down in one corner to think, ponder, and imagine – “such a lazy afternoon to do anything.” I just thought. Temperature at 4pm manila time registeres at 35.9 degrees. Too hot.

Indeed…on a hot summer day, COKE is my thirst quencher. Made my day.

So i was tempted. I opened my fridge and opened a bottle of cold and iced coca-cola. Oh guilty pleasures, you just make me so happy. Then I saw a bag of potato chips – my favorite V-Cut is just heavenly. Screw my diet for now. I just didn’t care. I closed my eyes and felt the cold soda dripping in my tongue. Tasty. Delicious. Satisfying. Mouth-watering. Yum.

Put on my headset, turned on my sunday playlist – MARIO in the house. I was in the mood for some music, humming I CHOOSE YOU. Alone. I didn’t care, nobody could hear me, so I went singing……

Whenever you feel like dancing
You don’t have to dance alone, no
You know, you know, you know
You should already know
I choose you

I turned on the TV – the usual Sunday variety shows. I settled for ASAP for a while. There’s nothing much to do on a Sunday. I was a clicker for a while, keep changing channels until I get bored.

Oh la la…my comfort food. Bored no more. As I took a bite. Tasted it. Green mangoes – how fast can you change my mood? In a snap…my happy indulgence. Always my mood booster.

My healthiest indulgence for this afternoon, is when I grabbed a NICHOLAS SPARKS off my book shelf and start flipping pages. THE LAST SONG – a story about family, first loves, second chances and the moments in life that lead you back HOME. For a while the house was quiet, I embraced the serenity of the moment. This is a story that made me weeping for the joy and tragedy of it all. Achingly moving. A tragedy and a love story – a Nicholas Sparks trademark.

Relationships can break our hearts…and heal them.

But my guiltiest pleasure – rare conversations with people I adore….

I spent serious and loving conversation with my mom – our fortress. Grateful for the unconditional love you have given us, for giving without asking for anything in return, without needing to pretend. And as I said ma, “I may have failed you so many times in the past, still you never took me for granted. You kept your grip on me. And you continue to uplift my spirit and heal my broken soul.” Happy birthday Mama. You are, will always be, my fortress. I love you to pieces. ♥

The last get together – 11.11.11 CELEBRATING FRIENDSHIP

I shared laughter and stories with my good friends – Kath and Diomel. Oh, how I missed those kind of conversations. Reminiscing the past, going back 15 years before – the Lucky Niners and the Karagema Joy. I just couldn’t stop laughing. We may be in different parts of the globe, still we find time to catch up even if we are living in different time zones. I can always be real with you – friends who never judge, never surrenders, you just listen and laugh with my remarks. The irony is, whatever the issue was remains unresolved. And to the rest of the gang – until our next reunion…my house is always open. I miss you guys, I miss us.


My heart is at peace, at rest, and undeniably happy. My laughter, my guffaws, my smiles, just cannot describe how happy I really am these days. Jake, you may be far from me, yet talking to you constantly bring joy into my world. I am celebrating life…and I am taking it one day at a time.  I have seen better days. You are one of my Sunday guilty pleasures. Thank you for being my clown this afternoon.

Home: To Reflect and To Let Go

Big waves. Cool wind. Drizzle. A walk on the shore. A peaceful view. A heart at rest. I am home. ♥

Loving life is learning when to pause once in a while. Take time to smell the flowers. For all we really have is – Here & Now.

Letting go.

Let go of Worries. A worry-free spirit brings a peaceful glow into our lives. It keeps us binded with our inner core. It creates a balance into our own kindred spirit that leaves not only a minute of solitude but a long and peaceful life. A worry-free heart gives more, understands better and loves deeper.

I am keeping my realities intact, staying in parallel with my circumstances, and adhering to my desires. A restless heart and a restless mind are what we shouldn’t have. Once in a while, it pays to just go with the flow and live in constant happiness. As being happy is always a choice. Always a reminder that, indeed, life is what we make it. Life is ours to live and ours to build. And we shouldn’t let our circumstances ruin what we build in order to remain happy and hopeful.

Holidays. A time to reflect. When I am alone and weary. When my heart is at home. My heart gives so much without needing to pretend, without asking for anything in return. I feel for destiny. I pray for a worthwhile journey. And I keep my faith intact.

It was a joy to finally be with the love of my life, with my main man. My Jared.

I see his face. I smell his breath. I feel his heart. This is peace. Worthy to be missed. I love you, son.

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Sweet Escape

I write. I read. I learn. I educate. I pray. Today I just did and it’s therapeutic. I have given life a balance and forget the can of worms.

Weekdays can be strenous and it can drag me to the edge. The amount of energy I spend at work is somehow causing me to drift away from my sanity. I do not complain. I maybe just need time to breathe and forge away from the buzz of the city life and take a back seat to leave the fast lane temporarily.

My career is my life. It is my sweet escape. Yet, there are times that working too much is not healthy anymore. Life should be balanced to enrich our inner soul, to bring us back to reality. That, indeed, there is life outside the workplace.

I grabbed a book, sat down in my corner, and binge on a calorie-free diet as I start flipping pages. When I need to escape in a world where I can stay undisturbed, James Patterson book is a total luxury. I finished KILL ME IF YOU CAN in one sitting.

“Matthew Bannon, a poor art student living in New York City, finds a duffel bag filled with diamonds during a chaotic attack at Grand Central Station. Plans for a worry-free life with his gorgeous girlfriend Katherine fill his thoughts—until he realizes that he is being hunted, and that whoever is after him won’t stop until they have reclaimed the diamonds and exacted their revenge.”

THE PERFECT LIE

Trailing him is the Ghost, the world’s greatest assassin, who has just pulled off his most high-profile hit: killing Walter Zelvas, a top member of the international Diamond Syndicate. There’s only one small problem: the diamonds he was supposed to retrieve from Zelvas are missing. Now, the Ghost is on Bannon’s trail—but so is a rival assassin who would like nothing more than to make the Ghost disappear forever.

Books are my indulgence. And being a bookworm is how I will always be. Now I can’t wait for the next book that is up for a worldwide release on March 26, 2012.

No husbands allowed

Only minutes after Abbie Elliot and her three best friends step off of a private helicopter, they enter the most luxurious, sumptuous, sensually pampering hotel they have ever been to. Their lavish presidential suite overlooks Monte Carlo, and they surrender: to the sun and pool, to the sashimi and sake, to the Bruno Paillard champagne. For four days they’re free to live someone else’s life. As the weekend moves into pulsating discos, high-stakes casinos, and beyond, Abbie is transported to the greatest pleasure and release she has ever known.

What happened last night?

In the morning’s harsh light, Abbie awakens on a yacht, surrounded by police. Something awful has happened—something impossible, unthinkable. Abbie, Winnie, Serena, and Bryah are arrested and accused of the foulest crime imaginable. And now the vacation of a lifetime becomes the fight of a lifetime—for survival. GUILTY WIVES is the ultimate indulgence, the kind of nonstop joy-ride of excess, friendship, betrayal, and danger that only James Patterson can create. 

Serenity

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The serenity of the moment. The clear blue sky. The silence of the horizon. The beauty of the sea. And the calm effect of your presence in this picturesque nature. It is indeed, a breath of fresh air.

In this twilight zone, the calmness of the spirit aids the calmness of the soul. The world is surrounded with an incredibly impossible yet extraordinary gift of adopting the pace of nature. In silence. In solitude. The secret is patience.

I used to go out for a walk at sunrise, jog around and have a deep conversation with nature, laying out all the burdens my heart keeps, and concluded to stay out ’til sundown. For going out, I found, was really going in. Nature heals. Nature holds all the answers. I sit in the shade, look beyond, such a fine day I agreed, asked some questions and I listened profoundly to the response. Indeed, it is the most perfect refreshment. Only then, when I see nature in the real sense, will I ever understand everything better.

John Keats once said, “The poetry of the earth is never dead.”

The healing process is quite adamant of the status quo. Now I realize, when I finally see beyond what is within my grasp and stop dwelling on what might have been, my heart raptures in harmony of my tomorrows as it opens the windows of my soul. I can say, I am finally healed.

It may be too hard to admit, may be too difficult to fathom, yet it is very much compelling to finally blurt it out. That yes, I am ready and it’s making my world spinning in circles. Too fast, that I sometimes couldn’t keep up.

I need answers. For I am scared.

The beautiful sunset, cutting throught the surface of the water is like mirrors in the sea. The silhouettte is totally captivating, the excitement within is just as contagious.

My sunrise. My sunsets. I need not be afraid. For the happiness I feel within is genuinely beautiful and overflowing with divine gratitude. Because I know, a setting sun still whispers a promise for tomorrow.

So what if I am. So what if I am taking the risk again?

Relationship Revisited on Valentines Day

The best and the most healthy relationships have plenty of together time and also plenty of alone time. And I didn’t know this.

For the last 11 years, my life revolved around my ex to whom I have dedicated my whole life to. I cling onto him, so when we are not together, my insecurity grows. My self esteem was at its lowest, my self worth was compromised. I wanted him around 24/7. I have forgotten how to build my own life, I have forgotten how to enrich myself, and I have forgotten my worth. Thus, the relationship eventually disintegrate because of an accumulation of resentments because of lack of space from each other.

But now I know better. I remember the bad times because it’s where I pick up and learn the lessons. I always say, there are no mistakes, only lessons learned.

I have never been married but I know too well that space can create balance into the relationship, it eliminates suffocation as it allows growth.

But let me tell you this as well, when you take sometime away from your partner, keep self-doubt and fear of whether you are doing the right thing at bay.

You both need a time off from each other. Use that space to enrich your own life, to reconnect with yourself. Remember, there is a life outside the home. Do whatever makes you sane, go find solace and solitude and read a book, or you could meet up with friends who will remind you how great life still is even after marriage, or you could reunite with your hobbies. Keep in touch with your self, reassess your realities, and be more keen to your sanity.

On the other hand, with today’s busy lifestyles, it’s all too easy for spouses to live very different lives. The common scenario is, the husband is busy at work where he has bunch of friends, a bunch of responsibilities, and more often than not, as a wife you know very little about this. And you are home with the kids where you do all kinds of things he knows nothing about. When you’re together, you’re often busy you don’t really share what happened in your day. And without realizing it, you start to grow apart.

To avoid this, make an honest effort to at least know the people that he spends time with. In this manner, you’ve got to bond to your husband not only at home but also outside the home. This keeps the balance in your married life.

Therefore, in as much as it is important to spend time alone, it is also very vital in a relationship to be part in each other’s lives.

The bottom line is, in this journey, I learned not to make your partner or husband your whole life but rather be part of his whole life.

That’s when true fairy tale happens.

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.